Mettle Maker :: Until It's Done
I read this and thought 'yup. isn't that the truth...'
Then I thought 'you should post this...'
Now it's done. E Voila!
Mettle Maker :: The things you think you can't do...
Everyone has things they think they can't do - and then push comes to shove - suddenly these things that felt impossible are a thing of the past.
I was very nervous about working on a tug boat. I was just certain there would be all these things I couldn't do. Mostly physical things - throwing around large hawsers, pulling big wires, climbing up the sides of barges.
Here's the thing. My trip is almost over - and I did all those things.
When I left on my trip my friend Baisey (you can look her up on Etsy!) made me a sign to hang on my wall that says: 'Say yes and Go!' .
I have to remind myself constantly, 'you're capable. you can do this. you've handled worse. you just need to try.'. I have to remind myself constantly to say yes and Go!
I have to remind myself constantly to go and do the things I can't.
Mettle Maker :: Face It
I spend so much time in my head that I make the 'facing it' so much more difficult then it needs to be.
I couldn't agree with Mr. Conrad more. Sometimes you just gotta Face It.
Mettle Maker :: When Plans Go Awry
I am usually the girl with a plan. It's not usually a plan that makes sense to anyone else - and sometimes my plan is mistaken for spontaneity - but it's normally something that I've given a fair amount of thought to.
For about a year now, I've essentially been 'plan-less'. It's a feeling that I don't like. It leaves me restless and anxious. Unsure about where to go, what I want, and how to get there. I have to be honest and say, I've never felt this way before.
I had a plan. A good one. Then my ship was reflagged and sold and it felt a little like getting punched in the mouth.
A couple months ago I ran across a quote from Viola Davis and it really resonated with me.
“One thing that is missing from the vision boards is what happens when you don’t get what you want, your ability to adapt to failure, and navigate your way out of it, absolutely 100 percent makes you who you are.”
Losing my ship when I did couldn't have happened at a worse time in my career. I had just gotten my Captains license and, by being displaced I was set back years, actual years, in my quest to sail as Master.
Except, that with most things in life 'getting punched in the mouth' has really taught me a lot. A lot about myself, about persistence, about not burning bridges....and about burning some that should be burnt, about family, about friends, about having a good attitude, about heart and home and about making the best of what you've got.
Being 'punched in the mouth' and 'plan-less' has done one hugely important thing. It's taught me that I swim. Sink or Swim? I swim. I always have. Just keep swimming? I'm there. I refuse to sink? Damn straight. Which leads me to maybe one of my all time favorite quotes.
“They say don’t burn bridges you may have to cross later. I say I don’t mind swimming if the bridge was fucked up to begin with.”
Getting punched in the mouth, burning bridges, swimming for your life - these things help you. It never ever, ever feels like it at the time but, they define you. They make you stronger, they give you perspective, they show you what you're capable of.
What do you do when plans go awry? Whatever you have to.
Stability & New Opportunities
Are you wondering why I'm ashore?
I'm in the application / hiring process for a new job!
I've applied to work for an individual company vice a union. I will still be working on ships, and I'll have to take a drop down in rank to get started but, I'll have a lot more stability on the job front.
In the reader survey one reader wanted to know the back story on why I make some of the choices I make. I had never really thought about the fact that I share my changes but, I rarely share the why.
In this case, I started looking for a new venue for one reason:
I need some stability.
I haven't had an actual schedule in over a year and to be a little more accurate, in over 2.5 years. When I was sailing Chief Mate I was on a tramp vessel with a world wide schedule - the last time we pulled into port we were almost 40 days past our due off dates. When I joined my last ship I went into the union hall and had no clue a) how long it was going to take me to find a ship and b) how long the rotation would be for.
This would be fine and dandy if I was 22 but I'm almost 32.
I have a mortgage, a car payment and financial goals.
I also have friends and family I'd like to visit, trips I'd like to plan and time I'd like to allocate.
I need some stability.
I worked really hard in my younger years to advance my license and diversify my resume - and did a good job. What I'm looking for now is career advancement. Where can I go from here? This is the question I ask myself when I'm looking at new opportunities.
When I think about my career I imagine a jungle gym instead of a ladder. I want to be able to move side to side as well as up and down.
Does this company have shoreside opportunities available? Does this position give me a skill set that is in demand in any other sector of the maritime industry? Will I be in a position to learn? Is the pay high enough that I can cover all my expenses and plan for the future? Does this company have regional ties to the places I'd consider living long term?
If the answer is yes then I'm really, really interested.
In this specific case this opportunity provides something I'm really looking for: stability.
Stability, it seems, is much more important than I gave it credit for being. It's essentially the foundation of my shipping life. Corny metaphor aside, it's the anchor in the storm.
When bags are packed, and ships are joined the knowing is what makes it all feel manageable. The comings and goings, the challenges, the ups and downs - they're manageable, fun even - when you know there is a beginning and an end. When the daily challenge becomes not knowing a whole new set of challenges arise because, there is nothing fun about any of it and, it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I went out looking for some knowing, some stability, some light for my tunnel - and found some.
Here's to new opportunities!
Mettle Maker :: A Plan
I am constantly planning. I write notes in my day planner, I write on post its that I stick into my day planner, I have lists on my phone, I plan. My plan changes a lot. Some of that is due to my shipping schedule and some of that is due to my personality but, I'm rarely without a plan.
As you dive into 2015 make a plan to actualize those goals!
Just a friendly reminder: every other week a Mettle Maker can land in your inbox! Subscribe here.