My dog Rosie (her hippie mom (moi!) actually named her Rose Quartz but we call her anything we want…Roselani, RoRo, Rosebud, Rosamund….it goes on forever) is my best buddy. She’s an excellent companion but, today I noticed that I say some really weird shit to her.

Things I said to Rosie today:

“Rosie, get the birds out of the house”

“RoRo….don’t lick boobs”

“Who’s my stinky girl?”

“Ow Rosie! Don’t nibble my ears!”

“Rosie Girl, you have three pairs of socks out here!”

“Eh! Stop eating my hair!”

“Your belly fur is so soft!”

“Should we go home and have some din din?”

“I said lie down you little fucker!”

“You want a cashew?”

“I don’t want to share my popsicle….okay fine…”

What would I do without you Rosie?! You’re the spice of life!