Confession…when my ship was reflagged I felt completely and utterly lost. Mustering up some hustle was hard. I felt like a total failure. I knew that it was so far from the truth it was absurd but, it’s hard not to feel like everything is falling apart.
Being at sea on the other side of a job hunt things are still fairly up in the air. Shipping has changed for me (or I should say, how I ship has changed). I won’t be returning to this good vessel when my vacation is up which means, the job hunt will resume again in November.
I just spent the last 70 days at sea thinking hard. What’s my plan? Can I tell you how many times that phrase has run through my head?!
I know it may seem like I’m an incredibly spontaneous human but, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m a planner. I like to know what’s next. Don’t get me wrong, the plan can change but there has to be a plan.
It won’t come as a surprise to many that I have been having a hard time ‘settling’. I’ve been flitting around for the last four years. Lots of moving. Minus the two big moves – Maine and Texas – there was lots of moving around. West Coast trip, Florida trip, East Coast trip, Hawaii trip, Canada trip…you get the idea.
I like going new places and seeing new things but, it’s utterly disconcerting to not have a place to call my own. Where do I display my fiesta ware?! Where do I snuggle up and read with a coffee?! Where do I arrange flowers and light candles?!
Being at sea, sometimes all you can think about is going home. What would you do if there was no home to think about?!
I’m about to let you in on another bit of truth. When you ship, and you’re single, renting an apartment (that you never spend time in) is a tough financial nut to swallow. Between being at sea for 6 months, and visiting friends and family when you’re on land there are a lot of months of rent straight down the drain.
This morning I sat on the bridge – sipping my coffee and folding origami cranes as I watched the sky lighten. It was quiet and I felt quiet – it’s been hard to feel quiet lately with what’s my plan constantly running through my head. I started listing all the things I wanted to do.
I want to take a trip to Thailand (maybe add Bali in there too). I want to write more. I want to go home to Hilo for at least a month. I want to buy a nice tent and camp (maybe even solo!). I want take a Japanese language class in Okinawa and maybe join my Mom in France for a language immersion. I want to lay on white sand beaches. I want to wear slippers and dangly earrings more often.
The lack of a plan + the undesirable realities of rent and the uncertainty of when you’ll ship out next + a list of adventures = Going Nomad
I’ve talked about Going Nomad for years. Years.
I was in Yokohama and I splurged on a phone call to my Mom (my Mom
explains me to her friends as a gypsy with a nice car) because I was feeling like a total wreck. Not knowing what I was doing next was flipping me out. I was illustrating all the benefits of living in a camper (my Mom thinks this is a really bad idea). She finally just shouted, ‘Do it! Make it happen! But for God sakes stop talking about it! You’ve been talking about Going Nomad for years! Just DO
IT already! Make it happen!’ Don’t you hate it when your Mom is right? Gah.
I’m doing it. Granted, I’m not getting a camper but, I’m going to commit to 6 months of no official domicile but, I'm shooting for 12 months.
The bottom line is: I’m resourceful. Going Nomad doesn’t mean I’m going to be cold and hungry. It also doesn’t mean I’m going to be sleeping in my car in a Walmart parking lot. Anyone who knows me can probably guess there won't be too much 'roughing it' involved. It just means that when I’m ready to move along there won’t be anything holding me back. It’s hard to travel incessantly and go to Hawaii for a month when you have a home full of things that you’re paying to let sit.
If I want to arrange flowers and light candles I'll make it happen. Listen, I'm a snuggler....no one could be better than I at discovering alternative snuggle options!
As far as I’m concerned writing it on the blog makes it official and I have to tell you the tension in my shoulders has virtually melted since making this choice. I gave notice on my place in Houston and will soon be packing up. Let the adventures begin!
I found this quote awhile ago and I’ve been reading it to myself a lot:
"And I realized, that the reason why good things were not happening to
me as often as I wanted them to, was because I in fact was a good thing that needed to happen. I needed to happen to me, to other people and the world. And so I happened." –C. JoyBell
I’m a good thing that needs to make things happen. I’m starting with
Going Nomad.
Nautie Friends, thank you for being the most supportive group of humans ever made. Love, love, love. I think all this shoulder tension has prevented some blog action. I can’t wait to share my future adventures with you in fact I love sharing here with you period. Love, love, love. Thank you again for just being there.
